I realized I love you, and I thank you for it.

Dear Tom,

Holy shit ..I've looked through pretty much all of our conversations. IM, Skype convo's....just wow.
We've been through alot together. And really...it's just made me love and appreciate you a lot.

You love me....alot...I realize that, whether as a good friend or more. You love me...Thank you for loving me.

You were Always there for me no matter what...you never truly left me. Even when I said or thought you did...you kept your promise...you really did. I'm proud to call myself your daughter and I'm proud[er] to Be a Fallen. glad you allowed me in your family. As long as your around...there will always be a Fallen family..know that!


You have the greatest patience ever Tom. I've fucked up with you sssoooooo many times. And yet...you can find it in your icy heart to give me one last chance. I'll be honest with you. If I had the guts...I would have let you completely inside my heart along time ago.
It wasn't that I didn't notice you had feelings for me....I was just scared to let you in.
Like I said before....I know you don't have feelings for me but Hey.....people change.

Moving on.

I'm sorry if I was ever a jerk, or a bitch, or rather...a spoiled whiny little brat. ^^" Heh...yeah...I'm so attached to you Tom...you're so great. I have to list them all...

1. Your personality is off the chain!

2. You have the sweetest heart I've ever known.

3. you're hot.
your eyes, I could get lost in those beauties forever...
And your lips...I love them...you're a great kisser I bet.
And you have a nice body...and you seem like..well...I feel like when you hold me...I'd feel safe with you...like I dunno...let me stop there....

4. you're a writer! I love you for that!

5. you have nice hands....trust me...I know how they feel...

Those are the main things though.

I'm just writing this to say thank you for all you done for me....Tom...
I can really say I truly love you. My crushes my come and go....but in the end...you're there...I may be too stupid to realize this at times..but still...I realize it today...right here and right now....I love you...
Heh....I'm such a screw up....but you're still there....

And well...I know you're stressed and I know you go through shitloads of drama but...I'll take care of you...just like I said all those months ago when we started talking. I'll take care of you forever. I want to take care of your heart. I want to guard it with my life.
And yes....I'm practically pouring my heart out to you writing this. If I even give you this...I don't know...maybe its better if I say it over the phone...which ever come first. I...I don't know.....this is just weird....

I hope one day...maybe one day...me and you...we'll be the bestest of friends...or even husband and wife *laughs*
Mrs.Saika Xiallia Fallen
Mrs. Trinity K. Whitaker
HA I had too....too tasty...

anyways...just thanking you for everything and saying sorry for all my screw ups.
nothing can change what I did to hurt you BUT I know what I can do to fix it.
Just...ekk I love you!

Like.....lemme go for the name...
Erebus Ad Noctem Fallen
I better be right....psshhh....you be callin out my full name and shit...

Uhhmmm well I ran out of stuff to say...I'm not a great person...I'm not perfect for you...I don't think I'll ever be THAT perfect...just...I miss you alot...you're on my mind and just.....Ehhh...I'm getting mushy! No! It's awful! heheh

This is only for you...so...you show anyone this...I'll seriously just...be mad at you...really...

Anyways....Valete or w/e the fuck you say...
te amo

Your Cute little innocent angel of a daughter,

~Saika Xiallia Trinity Ceria Fallen<3

PS: say anything about the grammar errors I'll Scythe you......bish....>_>

Entry 2: cont. of Journal 1.

Hmm....well my mind is a little clearer...and less....well...O_o


Mood: Apathetic[lawl]
Music: Gee - SNSD
Time: 1:50am [central time]


Hmm....
I love my Ere-kun...>:] I ssoooo got him to do it...yeah..I got him to...play tea-party with me. HA! Love et! The domination is nothing but epic!

But yes...what happened was a bit shocking. e.e" I really won't look him the same. I'll prob'ly fuck his ass over and over. Hitting him I mean....*facepalms* Beating him with my Scythe...just nyaaahhh~!!! *throws ice daggers at the wall* fucking...>.< blargh!

Mmmm....Time to review my Family.

Head of the Fallens: Joel....D:<

nuff said!
Ere won't spoil me...that bitch! I hate him...i'm the spoiled one the family..he knows it! Shit ain't cool. Fuckin gunna fuck his ass up again~! [took 3 tries to type that exclamation point e.e]

Music: I love you - Scanty

Mmmm....I know I'll go to sleep happy though..heheh :3 Nice nice dreams....I think I'll go read my Fanfic or write the second part to it. I hate leaving it unfinished....I'd kill myself if I ain't finish it. Ugh! Seriously...I don't like not finishing my writing.

~Saika Xiallia Ceria.

HA~ Tomalina....oh oh...Tomathin...fuck it...I'mma call his ass bunny.

-_-" I'll never forgive him laughing at me when Sorn said he wouldn't let me stay if I ain't bring GG Isuka if I bought it...that bitch...>.< He's such a big brother! A mean one at that, but a cool one. I love hearing my Father laugh though...it makes me happy....[ES father....I call my real dad Daddy or dad...:/]

Ja ne!

"The Broken Ice Princess"

Music: Resonance - T.M.Revolution
Mood: Tired... :/
Time: 2:04am....
fyi...it's Wednesday ^^

Journal 1: 11/24/09 - Wow.....*face palms*

Wow is the only way I could describe what happened tonight.
I will never look at my Father[ES father for anyone reading this outside of my circle of buddies]
the same. *Blushes* Just...e.e" He's Beastly. >_> Just...Beastly...yeah..the only way...<_< Just...uhmm...Well...My legs are all spazzy and I can barely type. Thank Firefox for Spell check huh?

>//////< I hate you Erebus Luke Ad Noctem Fallen you're so...blah! *mumbles incoherent japanese/english along with some profanity*
I swear....

In other news! Middy and Tom are....what? Broken Up!!! Yes!
But Middy's dumb ass might move to Utah...my ass is ssoooo fucked. -_-" Fucking...ugh! The spell has to work! please....let the goddess fulfill my wish...

~Saika Xiallia Ceria<3
"The Broken Ice Princess"